Conflict Resolution:Pride & Selfishness

Conflict Resolution in Relationship

There is a high rate of conflict in most relationships today. Is peace achievable between couples who are now deeply separated by hurts?

Hurts from actions that are sometimes irreversible. If you are going through pain today from hurts due to undesired experiences in relationship with your spouse or friend you may be asking yourself questions like, ‘Why me? How can i get out of this situation? Should i file for divorce? God where are you?’

These may be the questions on your mind right now as you read these lines. One thing is certain about what ever you may be going through.
That is the fact that you have an enemy who wants you sad or troubled like you may be going through now. His name is the devil.

He wants you unhappy and i can tell you certainly that he is the root cause of any problem you may be going through. He certainly wants you to give up or throw in the towel.

The devil specialises in causing problems and then hiding under cover.

In Matthew 8:33 Jesus was offended by both Peter's words and the way he threated Him disrespectfully.

'When he had turned about and looked on his disciples, he rebuked Peter, saying, Get thee behind me,: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but the things that be of men.'

Jesus obviously looked beyond the words of Peter to the spirit that was actually manifesting or controlling his words. He knew this was the devil because peter would not on his own decide to hurt Him.

There is a point of revelation here. When you are offended, learn to identify the real enemy first whose name is the devil. If you do not do so you may end up finding yourself attacking someone who in his or her right mind would not hurt you deliberately. The devil is always behind every hurt and pain that we suffer and he can manipulate anyone to get at you. When you get offended at the person he using he would have successfully hidden himself from your view.

There is no conflict that cannot be resolved if you do not give up.
Quitting your marriage may seem the easier solution to come by now but honestly; such action may start a whole new phase of issues that may be beyond your power to handle if you follow that route.

Conflicts in relationship between most couple thrives on selfishness and pride.

The devil takes advantage of our flesh dorminated way of life to create most of the issues we are facing now in our relationships.
Self centeredness is the root cause of most conflicts in marriages. When you as a wife or husband is concerned predorminantly about your self and never really care about the feelings of your spouse then you set an anticident that surely comes back to you in a negative way.
Selfishness basically means fishing for self. Looking out basically for ones good without any real concern about the good of the other.
Selfishness is actually satan’s tool for breaking up most homes. Love is selfless. If you will truely have peace in your home then you must make a decision to begin to live a selfless life. Love cares for the needs of others more than for its own good. Love prefers others more than itself. When you look at yourself viz a viz your relationship with your spouse can you really say that you are walking in love?

Before you pass the blame!

One of the common hiderances to conflict resolution in relationship is passing the blame. As long as you keep pointing fingers at your spouse and he or she also keeps pointing fingers at you, the conflict is bound to perpetuate. If there must be a change in your situation, then you must first take responsibility for your faults and make a decision to walk more selflessly than you have been doing. If you can decide to walk in love as christ loved us irrespective of the actions of your spouse then you will be on a path to finding a solution.

Deal with your Pride!

Proverbs 13:10 Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom. The scriptures cannot be broken. Only by pride cometh contention and strife and conflicts in relationship. Pride in the heart of the husband would not allow him to admit his wrong. Similarly pride in the heart of the wife would also not allow her to yield grounds. Pride fights for recognition. Proud people believe they are supposed to be worshipped. Most proud people never know that they are proud and this is the challenge of this issue in relationship. King Saul of Israel would not admit his wrong before prophet Samuel when the later pointed out his wrong to him instead he had explanations to make. This is the attitude of many of us as it relates to our spouse. We never accept wrong; instead we put up a defense and an explanation, and in cases where we cannot really defend ourselves we slip into a mood and begin to keep malice. Friend it is pride and you must deal with your pride if the conflicts in your relationship will cease.

Why can’t you say you are sorry when you are wrong? It is called pride. Proud people always fight for superiority and hence can never condescend or submit themselves to others. The bible says submitting yourselves one to another.

I will be glad to counsel you and pray with you or answer any questions you might have about this subject. Do drop a line on the comment section or send me an email: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it you could also pick up the phone and call me +27720809077(South Africa only) or +2348052800948(Rest of Africa)